I get depressed so very easily.
My job has probably been one of the best things that’s ever happend to me. I’m so unbelievably blessed and happy with life at this point. I don’t just have co workers I have family.
Tonight all I have done is think about what I’m doing with my life. Am I doing what God wants me too? I sit and think about my life sometimes and it’s not like the rest of my peers, they are either married or in college. Then there’s me living at home working. Sometimes I get upset because I think my family isn’t proud of me, I feel like they think well, she turned out how we expected. I wonder if I will ever find a boyfriend, If anyone will ever even find me attractive. I just feel like I’ve been in the same place for awhile now, and i feel like the dumb girl that just didn’t go to college sometimes. If it wasn’t for the wonderful job I have my life would be in depression. I just wonder is this going to be my life forever? Because I feel like people look down on me and it’s probably just me, but I’m just having one of those nights.
I absolutely love, loving people that don’t have many friends. Like who says you have to be mean to that person or treat them like an outcast just because they are a little different and a little hard to get along with? People need encouraging loving people in their lives everyone deserves someone to treat them with love even if they are different than everyone else. So key word: love.
So..it’s been awhile. I’ve been in this funk for sometime now.. It’s hard for me to motivate myself and make myself do things. God has not been in my life for almost a year now. To be honest I kind of shoved him in the corner, I have still loved him and trusted him. But not as I should. I have this weight problem I’ve been dealing with for 7 years I have never been happy with my body. I am a disrespectful person I feel as if that is why I haven’t been successful in a whole bunch lately.. But I’m ready to change all that. Tomorrow I will start changing my body into something I am confident in. I am going to pick my bible up and just read it even if I get bored with it. I will sit and I will pray to God and he will forgive me because that is the type of man he is and I am forever grateful that I have a forgiving savior. So tomorrow is the day I get out of this funk I’m in and face my future and be who God wants me to be. Prayers would be appreciated.
I’ve come to realize..college isn’t for everyone. I didn’t go to college this year simply because I didn’t feel ready I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do and I didn’t want to waste my time. I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Right now I’m working and saving money for whatever is in my future. I do know God has a plan for me and I’m just along for the ride. He’s given me the best job I could ever ask for.. Id rather be working with people that are practically family to me than being a stressed out college student for right now. I’m completely happy with my life and that’s all that matters. Sure I probably won’t have this job forever.. But I’m going to have it as long as I can because life is short and you might as well spend it with people you love an my job is my college for right now as dumb as that may sound I have gained SO many friendships with it and I have just been all around blessed. So just so everyone knows I’m completely happy and stress free. #content